Myths about porn

There are a couple of thoughts that single guys have about porn and marriage that are incorrect.

1. Myth: Marriage will solve the lust problem.  Getting married doesn't solve the problem of lust, instead porn addiction brings a lot of baggage into the marriage that causes more stress and frustration.

 

Young marriages are fragile, there are expectations, miscommunication, over-sensitivity, and immaturity that cause a lot of problems early on.  Bringing unrealistic fantasies about sex into the marriage never helps.  Instead of building love and trust the addict tends to focus his lust onto his wife and attempt to have her fulfill his "needs".  This is too much pressure and expectation for any woman to handle and will ultimately end in frustration and anger. 

 

There are a lot of emotions, hopes and excitement tied up in marriage.  Young couples believe that they will never feel lonely or unloved again,  that all their needs will be met.  When we expect another person (even Jesus) to make us happy we will always be disappointed.  Why?  Because happiness is a fickle emotion often based on selfishness.  A selfish heart will never be satisfied and as a result will never feel happy.  Conversely, when we put the needs and desires of others before our own we find love and contentment, which can make us feel happy. 

 

2. Myth: Looking at porn will help you resist fornication.  This myth is similar to the myth about anger.  The idea is if you just let the anger out then you will be healthier rather than bottling it up and exploding. (Myth 30 - Anger - Psychologicalscience.org).  This idea has been shown to actually make you an angrier person!  Anger and Lust are very similar.  They are consuming monsters that need to be battled and ruled. 

 

Looking at porn as a way to satiate lust and prevent other sins such as fornication is a weak excuse to justify our actions.  Worse yet, it doesn't even work.  The only way it prevents anything from happening is by making you too lazy and unmotivated to pursue casual sex.  In the end when lust is gratified it only grows stronger and it will eventually lead to more and more risky behavior.  The final condition of a porn addict is often much worse than someone who is sleeping around!

 

3. Myth: Porn can spice up a relationship and even save it.  This myth is growing more and more prevalent.  The problem is that viewing porn in a marriage might seem to have some benefits initially.  But the end is always worse.  Porn is defined by selfishness, perversion, control, infidelity, and evil.  It has no place in a godly marriage.  Fantasy is deadly to marriage and inevitably leads both men and women to look outside their marriage for fulfilment. 

 

Sex is important in a marriage, but it is not a magic bullet that leads to a good marriage.  Contentment, love, self-sacrifice, commitment, patience, kindness, honesty, etc lead to a good marriage - sex in it's proper context is an expression of these things.