I am not at the stage of my life where my daughters are getting married, honestly I just want to get them to that point. But for those of you who are or will be in this situation let me just say - talk to your future son-in-laws about porn. Do it for his and your daughters sake, and for the sake of their marriage.
If the thought of having this conversation makes you squeamish then consider the advantages of asking this uncomfortable question.
- It will make him uncomfortable. This is the perfect question to throw him off balance and watch him squirm. You may be uncomfortable asking the question, just imagine how he will feel being asked it! You can learn so much about a person by putting them on the hot seat.
- It can reveal his true character. If he denies ever looking at porn then chances are very good he's a liar, or very sheltered, like homeschooled through college sheltered. You should have an idea about the state of his spiritual life at this point, if you don't then you REALLY need to have a that conversation first.
- It can lead to a mentoring relationship. Most (male) nuclear family members don't communicate with each other about deeper issues. Believe it or not it is probably easier for him to talk to you then his own father. If he is willing to discuss something as serious as this with you then you have established the groundwork for having a great relationship with your son-in-law. This helps the whole family and your daughters marriage as well.
- It could save your daughter a lot of heartache. I'm just saying, there are some crazies out there that really know how to manipulate and ruin women. You often can't tell until you get below the surface.
Most people don't have the courage to talk to others about sexual issues. Many people would rather risk driving their lives and marriages of a cliff than face the issue. But a healthy marriage, a healthy life, a healthy church body depends on keeping sexuality in its proper role and free from perversion and guilt.
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