The Role of Patience

Patience may not be the characteristic we think of in a discussion of mortification of sin.  Indeed, when we are talking about active, unrepentant sin the typical guidance is "Stop It!"  And rightfully so, for living in the flesh means we have no fellowship with God (1 John 1:6).

Sexual sin is especially deadly because of the consequences to our relationships, our bodies our minds, and our spiritual walk.  The biblical commands regarding sexual behavior are very clear - Abstain (1 Thess 4:3), Flee (1 Cor 6:18), Avoid (Eph 5:3), You shall not, Do not (Lev 18:24), Put to death (Col 3:5).  

So where does patience fit in?

1. Be thankful for God's patience towards us:  God is so good to His children.  He is slow to anger and longsuffering, but he will not let us destroy ourselves with sin.  His discipline is always perfect,  He deals with us gently and patiently at first, but if we continue to harden our hearts He will not hold back the unpleasant consequences of our decisions.  Thank the Lord for His patience.
2. Be patient with the results: God is working in us but that doesn't mean He is forcing our obedience.  Some might disagree but I believe that God has given us sovereignty over our hearts and minds and actions.  We cannot determine what will happen as a result of our decisions and we don't ever know the consequences, the path is set by God.  But we are responsible for what we desire, what we think, and what we do.  This means that we are responsible to kill the fleshly desires, to pluck out our eyes (How far are you willing to go?), and to train ourselves in holiness through the power of the Holy Spirit.  We must patiently battle, trust, and obey if we want to see the results.  Don't expect God to swoop in and do all the work for us.  
3. Be patient with those you've hurt:  One of the consequences of our sin is on our relationships, especially our spouses.  Recent articles have pointed out that there is a dangerous trend that assigns the blanket term of "codependent" onto spouses.  The idea being that the spouse is somehow partially culpable for or enabling the addiction.  Enabling and codependency are real responses to addiction, however we should realize that the sin causes the wounds, and we DO NOT have the right to deflect the blame onto those we have hurt in any way.  We must patiently rebuild our relationships brick by brick, day by day, in prayer and service. Forgiveness doesn't happen in an instant either, be patient with those you've hurt. 
4. Be patient with others caught in the same sin: There is a tendency to want to rush out and fix others when we believe we have overcome something.  In many ways this is an appropriate desire.  But our zeal can often overtake good judgment and can even stunt our own growth. How? I've heard it said that you haven't truly broken free from addiction until you have been clean for at least two years, and even then the desire never truly leaves, it's always lurking in the background waiting for a lapse or opportunity to tempt.  Realize that the plank in your eye needs sufficient time to heal before you can see clearly enough to go around pulling splinters out of others.  If we dive too quickly into attempting to fix others we may end up causing a lot of damage and even falling back into sin ourselves.  Show the same patience to others that God showed to you.