There exists a never ending flood of teaching by popular christian media that attempts to define how God works in the world and in our individual lives. Typically a teacher will take one attribute of God (ie sovereignty, love, grace, wrath, etc) and extrapolate it into the defining way that God interacts with His creation.
This type of thinking leads to assumptions, confusion, frustration and doubt. What typically happens is a christian who isn't firmly routed in scripture will create a theological framework based on pieces of what they glean from sermons or popular literature. They will then expect God to operate in their lives according to this self-defined framework. Then they will demand that God to fulfill their expectations. When this doesn't happen they either become disillusioned or they redouble their efforts.
For example:
Defining Attribute: God's love
Baseline Assumption: God wants you to be happy, healthy, and wealthy
Theological Framework: Health and wealth teaching
Expectation: God will make me healthy and wealthy
or
Defining Attribute: God's Sovereignty
Baseline Assumption: God controls and predetermines everything
Theological Framework: Extreme Calvinism
Expectation: God causes everything to happen, therefore He will do (such and such) in my life
or
Defining Attribute: God's Holiness
Baseline Assumption: God hates sin and will hold us accountable for our actions
Theological Framework: Works Righteousness
Expectation: God expects perfect holiness and always punishes us when we sin
or
Defining Attribute: God's Grace
Baseline Assumption: God's never ending grace is so great that He is never displeased with us
Theological Framework: Hyper grace/Antinomianism
Expectation: God just wants to bless us, he doesn't care about our sins, we're only sinners saved by grace
But God does not allow Himself to be defined by our systems (Don't let your theology be an excuse). When God does not fulfill our expectations we can start to believe that He has abandoned us or that He is breaking His promises to us. We must all check our expectations of God against the entire bible. God cares about each of us. He knows us intimately, which is why He deals with each of us individually. God may use many different things in our lives to guide us, but He is faithful (2 Timothy 2:13).
God wants us trust Him, not by expecting specific outcomes, but by faithfully obeying and leaving the consequences to Him.
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